Monthly Archives: December 2019

Counting My Blessings This Year

Hello readers!!
This year has been a memorable one for me due to various reasons. Some good reasons and some not so good reasons. You might say that is what life is about. There are ups and downs in everyone’s life. I have shared a few significant events of my life with you through my blog posts.

My year started out with high hopes and grand plans. The mood was upbeat, with the buzz of activity. As we were renovating our house, the world looked brighter and, I felt optimistic.

I have started my blog this year….that is definitely a happy memory. It has become a means to channel and compartmentalise my thoughts into valuable lessons. I would have forgotten them otherwise.

I have made some new friends this year. I became acquainted with some great people that inspire me and motivate me to work harder.

I have witnessed the loss of a dear cousin. I may not have been very open with my affection for this brother, but I sorely miss him.p

I also attended the marriage of a niece and a nephew. They were such joyful occasions that brought the whole family together.

As I keep counting the events of the year, I realised that despite the dreary mood, my year had been a reasonably fortunate one. In the face of some unfortunate news, I overlooked all the good things that happened to me. Isn’t this a typical situation? We are stuck on one news (it could be good or bad) and we ignore all the rest of the world. We even fail to see how that single event fits into the grander scheme of life events.

It Is The Season To Spread Joy

It is Christmas time. I know, most of you are thinking, ‘no shit Sherlock’. My point is that it is Christmas time and it is the time to spread joy, love and brotherhood. If you are a feminist, then it is sisterhood too.

Most of us immediately run to buy gifts, clothes and cards when we speak of spreading joy. Moreover, these gifts are shared with friends, family and loved ones. I know that this is a tradition, it reminds us of all that family time.

But, I ask you whether this is the true meaning of spreading joy. As far as I can see, most of us me included, share our love with the people we know. We mingle and spend time with loved ones. How is that spreading joy? When we say spread the joy, it should go outside of our known circle of people.

This Christmas, try to reach out to that friend or neighbour that we are no longer in touch with. Try to speak to those that we usually choose to ignore. Make an effort to mend fences with an estranged member of family or friends. I believe that would be the true meaning of spreading joy and love.

By doing this, you are reaching out to those you don’t exactly love. You are including and expanding your circle. Your friends and family get your time all year long. It is time someone new also gets your love and a share in your joy.

I plan to practice this and hope you do too. Tell me in the comments about how successful you have been.
Merry Christmas!!

We Need To Develop A Thick Skin

We often come across stories of intimidation through trolling, bullying, severe and vociferous criticism etc. Be it skin colour, body type, thoughts, ideas, religion or something as random as dresses we wear, anything can trigger an avalanche of hate toward us. In our endeavour to be heard and to express our opinion, we often encounter such behaviour. They have become commonplace in the society which often believes itself to be the judge, jury and executioner in all matters social.

Take the example of the recent case cyberbullying of the 16-year-old climate activist, Greta Thunberg. For all her tireless activism, Time magazine named her the person of the year. This triggered an unwarranted Twitter attack from President Trump. Where earlier he ridiculed her health condition and mannerisms, today he suggested her taking anger management classes.

In life, every decision we make will be met with an equal number of supporters as well as opposers. There is nothing wrong in stating an opinion as long as it does not prey on someone’s confidence and self-esteem. Constant criticism and bullying often lead to depression, anxiety, even suicidal thoughts. Every small remark or comment made against a person dents their confidence and scars their psyche. Many people have spoken about this negative behaviour with little to no impact on the trends.

However, I would like to make a note of caution on this point. Sometimes, people become so sensitive about a review that they refuse to consider constructive feedback too. In fear of being bullied, we close our mind to all kinds of feedback, both useful and otherwise. This is another dangerous behaviour in itself.

The way I see it, despite constant reminders, coaching, punitive laws, trolling and bullying continue to thrive in the world. It makes more sense that we try to find a way to overcome this monster by making our self tougher and stronger.

I do not condone any form of bullying and bullish behaviour, however, I feel that we all need to develop a thick skin. If we want to survive in today’s world, we all should be able to brush off these bullies and critics. We need to stand tall and strong with our beliefs. We have to learn to maintain a strong sense of self-worth and self-esteem. We should believe in our self strongly enough so that these bullies cannot budge our confidence. As long as we are not breaking any rules or law, we need not be afraid of others’ opinions. We should only look at them as empty words of distrustful people.

It is true that bullying and trolling is a wrong attitude and it should stop. You might say that it is not the victim who should change, but the perpetrators. I agree with that comment too. However, I feel there is no harm in improving oneself. If having confidence in ourself and strong self-worth is what we need to develop then I want to make that change. Being a victim can only get us so much help. If we want to turn the tide, we need to help ourselves. So friends, do not cower down in the face of bullies and haters. It might take time, but build your self-confidence and self-esteem to fight them.

Attitude For Gratitude

Everyone must develop an attitude for gratitude. This is one of the main lessons that is taught by all self-help gurus, life coaches, personality development speakers etc. They always say that we must be grateful for what we have. We must say thank you to God or the universe or the people around us. Who you thank depends on what you are thankful for.

Every time I heard this phrase, I thought, “What do I have to be thankful for?” My job was a dead-end one, my personal life was going nowhere; I saw people around me moving forward while I felt stagnant. I had a very depressing sense of life. Every time I spoke to my sisters, I would always complain about my problems. Sometimes they would just listen, sometimes they would correct me on my thinking. My friends would try to reassure me and make me see the good in life around me. Some friends even introduced me to life coaches to help me find joy. My parents supported me by being patient and understanding. I appreciated all their efforts and yet, I found nothing to grateful for.

My mood continued to be sad for a few months. I don’t quite remember what made me turn to God for help, but I did that. I went to a temple, sat down and told my troubles to God. I asked him, “What is there to be grateful for in my life?” That was when my question was answered.

Before you think that I went crazy, let me explain, God did not actually answer my question. I had an epiphany while I was going to work. Though I have always complained of not having anything to be grateful for, I forgot about the biggest gift I always had, ‘someone to speak to’.

I always had my sisters, whom I ran to with my complaints. My friends tried to cheer me up. My parents never complained about my sour moods. My relatives also tried to help me find a way out. I have so much to be grateful for right here.

My job might be a dead-end one, but it keeps me busy through the day. My pay might be bad, but it keeps a roof on my head and food to eat. I have difficulties, but I have people who will listen to them. Whenever I feel lost, I have people who will show me the way back home. If I am moody, I have friends to cheer me up. What more can I ask for in life?

Indeed, I am not as successful as I could be or as rich as the next person. I might not lead as fulfilling a life as someone else. However, I still have the potential to achieve them. I have the means and resources to turn things around for myself.

That day, I thanked God, the universe and life in general for giving me all this. I found a direction to move forward in. Each and every one of us has the potential to be the best. We can achieve greatness and reach the highest point in our life. We just do not realize what we have. We always look at things we do not have and we feel bad. It reminds me of a proverb that my mother told us. There was once a man who was bothered about picking up the grains of wheat that fell down in front. He was so busy picking them, he missed all the tasty fruits and melons that were behind him. It is time we wake up and build our attitude for gratitude.

Women’s Rights vs Equal Rights

If you are following the news in India, you will be aware of the recent events of crimes against women. The number of incidences of rape, police apathy and mob justice and crimes against women has increased. This caused a renewed concern for the safety of women and women’s rights in society. As bad as it is to hear about the cases of women being brutalised, killed and raped, it is worse when we hear the comments of people. Some say that women are weak and that is why such things happen to them. Labelling women as weak and wrapping them in cotton wool does not reduce the chance of crimes against them. Such labels only strangle their chances to fight back against injustice. Now they will be restricted even more from chasing their dreams. Would it be a wrong time to raise the debate of women’s rights now?

At the cost of sounding insensitive, I would like to point out that rape, assault against women are as grievous as the assault against men, racist crimes, hate crime etc. Every crime done against another human being is just as bad as the others. They should al be punished just as severely as the other.

I believe in equal rights for men and women, although I am not a feminist. It appears that since I do not believe in ‘women first’, I cannot be a feminist. However, there is no field of study, work, research, or society that should be barred for women or for men. Both women and men should be praised, applauded, tried, tested and punished equally. Both genders should be given equal opportunity to greatness and stupidity, justice and crime, prosperity and destruction, virtue and vice etc. Everyone should be treated equitably, hence all crimes against everyone should be treated uniformly. However, I agree that this is an idealistic view.

Women should not be treated like porcelain dolls that are unable to withstand rough conditions. At the same time, when hard work and labour is required, women should not back down. I do not mean offence, but I have seen women use their gender as an excuse. They try to escape certain work with this reason. To be fair to women, most times we are not assigned some work, though we are ready to take on the challenge. We should stop expecting men to open doors for us, let us enter first or wait on us in the name of chivalry. We cannot ask for equal rights and special treatment at the same time.

Time and again, women have proven that they are as strong as men, both physically and mentally. From armed forces to scientific research, from arts to business, from sports to politics, women have proven their mettle in every field. When we can work shoulder to shoulder with men, we should not expect them to pave the way for women or protect us from crimes.

Disclaimer: I have sourced the image from Google images. I do not own the image.

Chill Out Hut

Hello everyone! How are you all doing? Since my childhood, I loved food and enjoyed eating different kinds of food. I experimented with food and recipes in the kitchen but, that story is for a different day. Last week, I went to this place called ‘Chill Out Hut’. Here I am to talk about my experience.

Chill Out Hut is located on the A1 highway at Long Bay, Jamaica. It is open from 10 am to 11pm. On the menu, they have pizzas, burgers, fries, meats etc. We ordered fries with cheese and bacon, Parmesan chicken with rice and peas. The food was delicious. Since the food is not pre-cooked, it took them some time to prepare our dishes. There was a bit of waiting time after the order was placed. But the place was so beautiful that we did not mind waiting.

Chill Out Hut hosted many events like Calypso nights, Reggae nights, Karaoke nights, and even mud-wrestling. Since I visited the place at lunchtime, all we experienced was good music playing on the speakers.

The weather was pleasant and not as hot as it mostly is. The sky was overcast though there was no rain. The soft breeze made for enjoyable view and weather. The meal was delightful, and I was relaxed. Later, we took a little walk around the place to click a few snaps. I wanted to remember the place and share my memories.

This was where we were seated and here is the view from my seat:

This was another seating area a little away from ours. The view from there must have been great too. Unfortunately, I did not go up there. I walked around and took snaps in every direction.

And finally, I will leave you with the best picture (in my opinion). The sky was like a painting and the silky, deep blue waves dancing under it. You have to come here at least once to experience it.